You are my bane*, my excruciating pain, My one deep love that keeps me sane. You are my calm, my pungent powerful balm, My smile that sees me through all harm. You are my tears, my real and fictional fears, My strength to carry on amidst the imaginary jeers. You are my sorrow, my hope for a hallowed halo, My reason to look forward to a futureless tomorrow. You are my plight, my bright white light, My zany Dog Star to guide me through the darkest night. You are my yucky smelly potty, my sexy naughty hotty, My one true mad lovely, the one I want to live with till a hundred and forty. You are the one I don’t want to lose you see, Even though you are not mine and may never be.
* Yes, I am Batman